I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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