I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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