he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
