i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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