I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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