no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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