Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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