U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
