woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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