i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
