I'm really into asian looking animals
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A bitchslap is in order.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
