i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
