I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were trust falling into bushes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
