i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
