He kissed a someone with a penis
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
