we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
