I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
