he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
