the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
