some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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