im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
