i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
do nipples grow back?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize