he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
