It's Friday. Sex?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just invented taco cereal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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