haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think my tv is drunk
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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