He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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