ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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