My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
