I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
