like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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