we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
