Your tits are I can't wait for
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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