I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
