Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
