where am i from again
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
