So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
