Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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