We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
