somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize