is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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