yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
