I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
