Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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