office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize