She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
