thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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