Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my liver is dry heaving
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
