so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
