yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Pooping to opera.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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