they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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