i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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