dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
