So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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