Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
