He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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