Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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