dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Duck Duck Cougar?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
