but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
