I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
