when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
