Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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